Monday, June 21, 2010

Raising Me

Everyone is thankful to Allah for being raised by the family they have, & so am I. Many others are out there, not satisfied by the plans of divine power. I am thankful to Allah to have such parents who kept me away from the problems they were facing whether they  regard their relatives or of financial interest.

My eldest aunt, my khala, after the tragic death of her husband, came to live in multan. Her house was build beside our's, under the eye of my father & was completed till I was born. The two houses were linked & no one could really tell the apart. That's how my khala's family blended with our's.

I was born sick. Doctors had told my parents that I am difficult to handle & not to expect much of my survival. My mother often tell me about the following two months of my birth. She always held her head high while telling me because it was for her care only that I survived the phase I'm not even aware of. After the 9 months of my birth, mom had to give the joining to school & continue it, since she was on leave. The job was a need at that time. I was left with my khala every time she went for the job. She is always worried that I must be having some hard feeling for being left at home, even if I tell her repeatedly about not being so. Khala treated me as she had never treated her own children. The kindness & love she had offered still lingers in my soul & I could only give her respect in return because her love is still unconditional. Her daughter, Aliya baji, had completed her college studies & took responsibility of me. I am not grateful enough for the love these two ladies has bestowed me with in my early days. Aliya baji was my first tutor & I was a learned reader & writer before I've joined the school. My breakfast, lunch, need of toilet, all was dependent on them till I was admitted to school. I was an obedient & polite child from the start. Because I was taught to be one.

Mom was always worried about me & I was never allowed to go in the streets, even when I was big enough for that. It was not till 9th standard that I was allowed to go to school on bicycle. Otherwise it was always mom who do the duties. Our school was on her way to her teaching job. She learned to drive car for the sake of our duties. She always had our lunch boxes & breakfast ready. I find nothing to complaint about because of her job. She still performs her housewife duties along with the job. We all siblings were best suited & well fed through out our lives. I have no idea how mom manages to be that much busy & I endure her for that. She's the best.

My father was busy with his workshop. It required much of his assistance. He could never depend on his workers & they always need a watch. As he had problems of his own so mom took the duties in her hands. But still paa did everything a father is obliged to do. He helped my mom in every possible way for raising me. When ever I was sick, I watched my paa, brushing me with wet cloth during high fever. It was always paa, who remember to give me medicine on time. When ever I was fatigued, paa always massage my body till i feel better. As I got sick often, it was paa who got up through night & fanned me in the hours of load shedding. He bought me toys & things I demanded. He use his fridays well (holiday) & drive us all to the amusement parks, markets, restaurant where ever we wanted to go. My mom never drive in night & paa was always there for my little outings.

After having a glance at my childhood, I concluded that I was a difficult child to raise. I fall sick oftenly & needed care which khala & my parents provided the best. That's one big reason for seeing my childhood as a perfect phase of my life. I am learned in manners & behavior because of the the way i was raised.  Every family have problems, but i was unaware of any till I reach my higher secondary level. That's what my parents did, keeping me away from every negative stuff & providing me the best in their reach. So I learned not to be worried about the problems you are facing, always show your best strength for the sake of others, who care for you & need your care. There's always a solution to the problem which will come to you soon. Always have faith in Allah.

Saturday, June 19, 2010

Harry Potter

When i was in 8th grade, my father introduced me to the "Harry Potter & the sorcerer's stone" - the movie. I still think it as one of the best things happened to me. The great web of wizarding world, existing unknown to muggles, amazed me like nothing before. Specially the point at which Hagrid come to the Harry's rescue from the Durselys. Professor Dumbledore (played by richard Harris) was so convincing in his character, that i accepted his wisdom in reality. Professor Severus Snape (played by Alan Rickman) was the object of hatred instantly. Friendship of Ron & Hermione was accepted as my own. This was before I've started grabbing the books by Rowling.

Later, I saw "Chambers of secrets". It was even better. I perceived the character of He Who Must Not Be Named as my own problems. As i was young, the concept of troubling sleep was completely different as is now. The sequence of young Tom Riddle & Harry challenging each other was wonderfully pictured. There I learned no matter how big a problem is, there's always a way out if you are on the right side. Than I laid my hands on the books. I read "Prisoner of Azkaban" first, as i was aware of the story line of 1st two books through movies. Reading was even better than watching movie. That's how i become a fan of reading fiction.

Till my secondary school education, I have read all the Harry potter series. I could still taste the feeling of waiting for new books to be published, catching on every bit of news media delivered about the Potter boy. Harry had become a friend, most lovable thing till it's time lasted. I had gone crazy discussing to be released Harry Potter books & what's their likes would be, on various blogs & groups. I have waited long for 5th, 6th & 7th books of the series. Harry had become the most exciting part of my life. The books were like a friend which have never said NO to me. I read the previous books again & again waiting for the new one. If anything troubled me, i just grab one of the books & started reading it again. I must have read all the parts 5-6 times. The joy of reading & waiting was never the same after the end of the series.

I was much teased by the pupil at school. I was an easy target for everyone. Because of being raised with sisters & having no real visiting friends till 8th grade, i had developed much of the girlish qualities. My God given voice is easily anticipated as girl's till now. I was miserable with complete strangers picking on me. That's where my friends played their part gracefully. My most beloved friend, Fahad Yar Khan, was a year senior to me & he took me under his wings like a brother. He himself is a Harry Potter fan. I still love him as a bro. He gave me my e-nick, Flaring Phoenix. I have learned a lot from him & he himself is not known of his teachings.

Coming back to Harry, when ever I was disturbed of worlds attitude towards me, the books were of great help. They took me through the lonely nights & I was never disturbed by the nightmares as my dreams were always about Hogwards. Harry kept me busy until I realized, my personality is what made me complete. I am different because it's how Allah have made me. Only time will change somethings, but still not everything. I have changed but still there's place for improvement. I am still targeted as the ultimate Mummy Daddy person. But now, I am not disturbed by it at all. I know now people love me for what I am. It is a lesson that took a long to be learned. :)

Reasons

Most of the good thinking is done while we are sitting on a toilet seat. Last night I was doing the same. I ask myself why anyone would care about my stories? The reply came instantly to my mind. It's not public for whom m writing, it's for my own learning. We usually let an event pass our heads needlessly, which is full of lessons & we ought to have learned something from it. We may conclude the lesson afterwards seeing it from a completely different point. Here I will try to write my stories for public & when u write something for other's...there's always a lesson in it. So i will try my best to give my best learned lessons a chance to make my life all better.

I always do a lot of thinking. After I was out of the wash room & prepared myself for the bed, i thought of the things i will write about. My 1st thought was, why not start from the school days & write down all the interesting events that happened till date in several post. This would be a lame work. Than I've decided to put the events i will remember when typing the post on my notebook. I hope i will enjoy my own journey & when glance back & give it a thought...i am very satisfied of how my life has shaped me...!

Friday, June 18, 2010

How i see my life

I have no idea why m here. I m living a perfect life as many people out there wud think. Many wud pray to have a life like this. But it's certainly is not perfect. I have expectations that r not being fulfilled, have tensions alien to the lifes of many with no clothes to wear & nothing to eat, have worries that wud make some laugh. but for me they r still tensions & worries. Each new day brings a hope, a hope that my problems will be solved on their own, & sometimes, with the grace of Allah, it happens. But a gone problem make path for a new problem to walk in & m never satisfied.

So far, my life has been very kind to me. It was brought into this world by not so perfect set of human beings, but still more than perfect for me, my parents. My mother is one person I love beyond limits. For past 21 years she had provided me with unconditional love & every other necessity. Designer clothes to wear, well made food to satisfy my tummy, best education in the budget, accessories of life that are not so necessary to live. & in doing so, she had sacrificed 21 years of happiness while teaching students in a government school just to keep me satisfied.

Life has given me relations, not so perfect, but still more than perfect for me to see the beauty of life. I have never seen much of my father's family, but I m as close to my mother's blood relatives as one cud wish. My two aunts are as good as my mother. In-fact, my elder aunt is more close to me than my mom. Still i cud do no grading & these 3 ladies r the perfect trio in my life. My grandmother died 2 years ago, & I miss the perfect love she had given me. I have spend my childhood playing with my two sisters. We have our issues & differences, we used to quarrel a lot & still do it. But I cannot deny the sweetness of bro & sis relation even after a lot of bitter moments. & my cousins all are the perfect relatives i cud wish for. Aliya baji, the woman who have raised me. Hamayun bhai, her polio stricken brother, who was a jolly company when i was young & they both live with us along with my elder aunt. Didi Sobia & Sana Baji, the sisters who have been my only visiting relatives & they are playful & perfect company to enjoy.

Life has given me friends, not so perfect, but still more than perfect for me to enjoy the colors of life. I have made friends in school, college & university life. As m currently studying in university, my school & college friends still remember me, as they have once done when we used to meet everyday. They all are wonderful company & i am grateful to them for the love they had shown me all these years.

Perfect parents, sincere family, relatives & friends & every necessity of life in my grasp. These are the kindness of life. What a jerk I am. STILL NOT SATISFIED...!